Monday, October 26, 2009

Bill's Vow

Bill’s Vow
It was the day of my flight. Only ten hours before I brought myself to the airport. I decided to go to mosque that day to say my last prayers in my homeland before I fly to Los Angeles. From there you can smell the scent of Jasmine flowers that the preacher’s wife grew in the garden adjacent to the mosque- the garden was full of people, all preparing for a wedding. Since it was a small town, and everybody knew almost everybody, people had the luxury to attend gathering like these even if you were uninvited. But I didn’t intend to stay, so I quietly walked my way in the place of worship, passing through the side so as not to disturb the workers preparing for the wedding. As I start worship I looked around and everyone was all fixed up; the groom was there and the bride was there too. I looked at my watch, 9:45 am. Only five hours left till I leave everything behind and start a new life. But I’ll be back… I just don’t know when. No one gave me a phone call or send message in my laptop to say bon voyage. I guess I was alright with it, except for one thing; I’m going to leave Bill behind. Bill was the only one who said goodbye…So I prayed.

God, I’ll be gone in several hours, I don’t know what will happen to me when I get to the other side of the world, where I will stay, when I will start excelling in my job, who to talk to when I’m here, or why I’m really going there. But all I know for sure is that a part of me is sad because I’m not going to see him in a long time. He told me he can wait. Can he? Can he really, God! I want him to wait for me, of course. But what if it took a long time for me to settle everything before I get back? What if while I was fixing my life he decided to move on? What if he chose to let me go and look for a new partner, a new woman to love? What if the time comes that he’d run out of love for me? What if?

God, I don’t want him to let go of me, ever. I love Bill so much. Please take care of him, Dear God, Always let him know that in a place far, far away from here, someone loves him so dearly.

He told me that when I get back he’s going to be waiting for me in the airport, down on one knee, holding up a small box with a ring in it, and proclaiming to everyone that he loves me and will not hide me, will not hide his feelings and wants to spend that rest of his days with me. I want that moment to come, God; I want that to come true.

Dear God, I’ll be gone in several hours. You know how much I love him. Keep me in his heart always, your will be done…

I really didn’t know how long I prayed, but when I opened my eyes, I saw the bride entering the place of worship, she is wearing elegant white wedding gown, so beautiful, her long veil covering her face so familiar to me…

I stared at her until she reached the side where I am, she was joined by a man so handsome, so dear… dear to my heart. It was Bill. I couldn’t believe my eyes! Bill was getting married! I was frozen, didn’t know what to do. I wanted to walk away… and run to them to stop the wedding, but my body was stationary, like there were invisible belts strapping me down on the pew, I tried to speak but no voice came out of my throat. No voice! I couldn’t move, I couldn’t talk … I was helpless; I sat there the whole wedding. I tried to look through the bride’s veil, but I couldn’t figure out who she was. When did Bill meet the woman? Were they seeing each other while we were together? How could he do this to me? All my thoughts were jumbled in my head. All I could do was cry. My tears never stopped flowing. I listened to their vows, and there was a tone in the bride’s voice that brought a warm sensation in my whole body. My heart suddenly became calm and showed down from beating too fast. For some reason, I felt I was the one delivering the vows to Bill, in the words only I have the ability to express.

“You may take Bill as your lawful husband…”

The wedding was almost over. All they had to do is seal the event facing the people … telling the whole world they were husband and wife! I manage to whisper to myself, “I Love you Bill, Forever.” To my surprise, despite the distance, I heard him answer me.

“I love you too, Chesham.”

Much to my astonishment, when he pulled up her veil, there I was, in that elegant, beautiful gown. I was the bride all along. And then Bill held my hand………

“Chesham, Chesham…”

The sound of my name being called grew louder and louder until I felt someone slightly rocking me I opened my eyes, I was still in that holy worship place, and there was the bride, in her white gown and long veil, walking towards the ceremonial path where the vicar is waiting, I felt someone hold my hand, I looked to my side, and there was Bill, smiling at me, “I can’t believe you feel asleep here,” he whispered to me, I looked at my watch 10:55 am. I was about to tell him everything that I saw when he said, “Let’s just watch the wedding , It’s old Mohad’s daughter tying the knot with this guy whom she were engaged to marry him as parents arrangement.” So we did, Once it was finished, we went to great old Mohad and gave our regards, then we walked home.

“One day I’ll be waiting for you at the end of that holy place, “Bill told me as we were walking. “And I’ll be looking at you, a beautiful silhouette of the woman I love. I’ll be saying my vow to you in the holy place like I’ve said from the first time I’ve told you that I love you, I’ll be proclaiming to the whole world that you’re mine and I’m yours, and that we’ll never be apart because our hearts are bound as one.”

He picked up a tiny purple Jasmine flower with its stem, attached the end of the stem to the flower, and he knelt down on the sidewalk, took my left ring finger and slipped in the tiny purple Jasmine flower, “I love you, Chesham, Marry me someday.”

I helped him up and embraced him, an embrace that gave warmth to my soul, “I will marry you Bill,” I said, “I promise.”

“All passengers of flight 716-Philippine Airlines bound for L.A. are requested to be on board,” It was caught my attention when I heard the announcement it’s time for me to leave my family is waiting. Once again I look back… try to find someone ohhh… here they are Bill and his wife with their son they will took the other flight they seems very happy, memories… only memories bind us together. Maybe, this is enough…We need to move on for the good of us for his family and my family as well. I was there in his wedding… promises….not anymore! This is my last visit in Philippines and maybe never come back.” I said to myself…never... and never… love this way again. I held my back to the chair and fasten my seat belt took a smile then close my eyes in my thoughts I recall the last time I was with him….somewhere, somehow … in paradise we see each other again and feel the warmth of his love and promises.

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