With the rule of reason and repression, sacrifices to awaken the inner self, storm, they says, "it almost dreaded her, because she woke the being she was always hulling, and stirred up a craving cry in her childhood and grow as unsatisfied and craving for love and care of a father, of a family. That she needs to be good, faithful and must excel in all aspects for her to be loved and be given attention and importance."This longing, and all of a similar kind," was necessary to knock on her head, which she did it figuratively, after the manner of pain, suffering and a big question that only now she realizes and understand why she is treated like that, and another why... she suffer much pain and struggle to live, to earn and crave for the love and care she didn't feel in most of her childhood, until a man came to her life, succumb..., but she saw the light, the hope, the care, happiness and willingness to understand what life is.
Although it is true that she is reticent and evasive about her past, it is not true she evade it entirely, nor it is true that the sources of her purest misery must remain a mystery to the reader.Although it was not describe specific events of her childhood and young womanhood, she does describes the pattern of them.Her marriage seems a repetition of the pain and struggle in her childhood , you see her happy outside but crying inside.
When you asked her a lot of her childhood... grief, trouble and sacrifices she weep... but seen in her beautiful face, she never feel regrets nor asking for more, for a new life, the family where she grows,still the family she will keep and choose in spite of the truth that she never felt happiness and accepted by them. No respect was given to her even though she help her father to support them in their studies, that she has to set aside her priorities, her own life just to follow his father to help them. Still her sisters were so mean to her that gives her a lot of pain, and ask herself again ..." why?... why they are like that? What have I done?", All her life, she help her father to send her sisters in good school and she never complains, never heard she is complaining of anything she does for the family.
Well, where was I? Not only in what spot of her suffering, but in what she is now! As she tells me, she will continue her struggle and overcome adversity without noticeable damage of whatever may come for her in the future. They are like clouds, that sometimes cloudy, windy and stormy , because for her past gives her completeness, "she loved the past". Her part and her obstacles in her part prevent them from fully inhabiting the present and confidently looking forward for her future. this is not possible for her, in where past too much has gone wrong.
"A sudden amazement at her own perverse proceeding stretch like a bow upon me". I saw her courage, her strong determination in spite of all her experiences, a trail she could have done better had I known herself better.
Talking with her , spending much time listening to her, she leads a useful, independent life. She can take pride in knowing herself successful in the face of almost insurmountable odds.For it is the victory of solitary, and I know, because she told me, that this is not enough for her. She has always hoped for a happy marriage, of a complete happy family in which she can express and fulfill her hidden inner self. She is such so wonderful and lovable woman of courage and inspiration."The artist can cry, can laugh, can fight, can heal wounds of distress, as Zheshkah does, she shall not stop hoping!" for she believe in this world chaos and struggle is just a battle to fight for, to move on... just keep the faith and confidence, and think the most high who always keep us and guide us here in our hearts,... in this world... and... in paradise.-"To God be the glory!"